Kairos

The ancient Greeks had two words for time: Chronos which refers to standard chronological time and Kairos which refers to a period when something special happens. Most of us relate to time in a chronological fashion, but there is a second level of time without determining borders--a time that cannot be measured by the clock or the turning of the calendar. Kairos lives in the cocooning of  a butterfly, in the time that is needed to heal and emerge as new.

I witnessed Kairos in action this past weekend in a group of over 70 women. Some of us were ministering to our 26 guests for the weekend at a retreat center near Belton, Texas, but all of us experienced the power of unity and healing.

All of our guests and many of the servants share the experience of having a loved one who is or has been incarcerated. There were grandmothers, mothers, wives, daughters, sisters, nieces, aunts, friends--all strong, loving women who have suffered and endured.

The women came in on Friday night scared, ashamed, and alone for the most part. They left Sunday evening humming and singing with their heads held high, buoyed by the love of their sisters and the time that they had taken to express their grief and find their joy again.

I was a table leader, which meant that I and another woman were responsible for holding space and gently guiding a group of four guests. We led the discussions after the talks, sat with them and took care of them during dinner, stood with them and supported them throughout the weekend. The six of us became a small family, sharing meals, sharing stories, and sharing our journeys.

Kairos is a prison ministry with three branches: Kairos Inside, which goes into the prisons to serve adult inmates, Kairos Torch, which serves juveniles and offenders under 25, and Kairos Outside, which serves the family members.

The Kairos Outside logo shows the image of a woman looking through the bars and a man looking out. The weekend is focused on growing a community of support, acceptance, and love.  It is based on the Cursillo movement and Walk to Emmaus, which are three day short courses on Christianity. I attended a Cursillo weekend through the Episcopal church several months ago.

As in the Cursillo weekend,  a series of talks and meditations are given by women who open themselves up to share their journey through life. I had the privilege of giving the talk on Anger, in which I shared my path through anger to forgiveness. The talks are a springboard for the conversations around the table where the women have the opportunity to express their own feelings on the topic.

One of the most moving and educational talks for me was the one on Isolation and Rejection. There is so much shame around incarceration. Some of these women went through public trials. Some of them have never spoken to anyone outside of immediate family about their ordeal. Some of them have been rejected by friends and family because of their association with their loved one behind bars. These women bear the shame and responsibility of having a child, grand-child, parent, brother, or husband who is in prison. Many of them are caring for children left behind. These women desperately need love and support. They deserve to be respected, not denigrated. They have been pushed aside for too long. A grandmother raising six children whose parents were both incarcerated spoke of her fears in being able to care for these babies: "How could she do right by them when her own child broke the law and went to prison?"

Many of the stories I heard were about children and grand-children who went to prison at an early age due to the influence of drugs. One mother revealed at the closing that her son went in at 17 and was 39 now: "He is still there, and NO ONE DIED." The sentences are overwhelmingly long. The faces are overwhelmingly black and brown. All the women are poor; many live in poverty. Opportunities to feel worthy are so few for them.

But I watched them bloom and grow over the weekend. Seemingly small gestures of love and kindness were accepted with such gratitude.

Listen, listen, love, love.

Namaste' ya'll!