"If I had no place to fall, and I needed to, could I count on you...to lay me down?"

 -Townes Van Zandt
 

I just got divorced.

Please don't say your sorry; it makes me feel like an object of pity and I'm not.
Granted, I felt that way a year ago.
But as the old cigarette commercial used to claim, I've "come a long way, baby!"

I came to Albuquerque to get away, to go to a yoga workshop, and to be alone. I rented myself a room in a little Bed & Breakfast run by a sweet couple named Steve & Kara Grant. If you ever need to spend time in Albuquerque, look them up. ( Downtown Historic Bed & Breakfast)

When I got here yesterday, Kara was setting up for a wedding.
The irony was not lost on me; I was a literature major.
Last night when I got "home" from my yoga class, the wedding party was in full tilt mode.
I was tired. I drew myself a bath and tried to tell myself the soft jazz and sounds of laughter were "charming."
But, if you've ever been to a wedding (and lets face it, who hasn't been to a wedding?), you know that after a few drinks the celebration tends to escalate. This was not the peace and quiet I had envisioned when I booked this trip, but I was determined to not let it bother me. I took a sleeping pill and turned up Deva Premal.
At breakfast this morning, the bride was wearing a tiara and the family and friends were still celebrating. Loudly.
I tried not to look conspicuous, but I was the ONLY person not a part of the party.
The universe has a way of sticking lessons in my face. I have learned to pay attention.
Getting upset was not going to happen. I know that hurts no one but me.
But what is the lesson?
Life goes on; people are still going to get married.
Just because I want peace and quiet doesn't mean everyone else does.
It's not about me.
It's not.